Sad and Empty

By Heide Lynne Canlas
Are you tormented about the thought of getting back to your ex and rekindling the failed relationship? Read on and know why getting back to your ex is not a very great idea!

Can’t stop thinking about your ex? Feeling that urge to get back together with him? Before doing anything stupid, take some time off first to think about and realize why your past relationship with him ended in the first place.

To clear your mind off, remember these relationship facts:

1. No matter how you and your partner broke up or whoever’s fault is it that caused the breakdown of the relationship, your situation and welfare as an individual must be your highest priority. Why? Because only self-respect and noble regard for one’s self ensure harmonious sensible relationships with others. Work first on taking good care and being in control of your self in order to anticipate a good relationship before entering one again.

2. You are never too old for another relationship nor too young to ask what is due you. If you keep on thinking that your ex-partner is “the one” already, ask yourself why the two of you are not together now. Stop making excuses for your partner and for yourself. If there’s a will, there’s a way, right? Maybe you need to be apart right now to discover which way would be fair for both of you.

3. People need to rest their hearts, their minds, and even their inner selves. Give yourself that precious chance to be alone with yourself; cry and wail if you must and take the break-up as it is. Sometimes we forget what we really want for ourselves when we become too occupied with other people, so be thankful that you have the chance to remember yourself and what you really want.

4. Getting back together with your ex doesn’t guarantee a better relationship or a better arrangement with him. Realize the implications of the reasons that caused the break-up before you consider another chance with your ex. It pays to be an optimist but it pays more to be a realist when you already have concrete instances to look into.

Convinced yet? Then, decide to let go, set him free, and focus on yourself more…until you regain your strength, wisdom, and courage to face the past and make the right decision! So, for now, fight the urge to get back to your ex and forget him right away – at least, the painful memories with him. Here’s how:

1. Engage in activities – sports, cultural, intellectual, or social – that you are interested in and have never tried before. This would help you not only get your mind off past relationship issues, but avoid the activities you and your ex do as a couple, as well.

2. Get in touch with friends that you lost contact with when your world was centered to one person only. Catch up with them and do activities together. Before you know it, you are laughing again…and this time with people who really value you as a person.

3. Be in the company of the friends who saw you through the break-up. Listen to their perspective as “outsiders” of your relationship. You will surely learn something new about yourself as an individual and as a partner. Cry, if you must, in front of them and realize that they are the people who

4. Occupy yourself with pursuits that will help you grow emotionally and mentally such as reading, writing, studying, and surrounding yourself with people who can help you become better than as you were. It is often a fact that we become less wise when we are in love. So, now that you are unattached, it is time to shine once again!

5. Lastly, and most importantly, never forget that in order to love and be loved by others, you have to love yourself first!