Sad and Empty

By: Heide Lynne Canlas
Do you know the people you can and cannot trust? Learn the implications of betrayal and why it’s never good to betray others.

Betrayal is a very painful. But an unexpected blow doesn’t have to kill us. Discovering who we can and cannot trust is one of life’s most valuable lessons.

Betrayal is breaking someone’s trust – letting another person down when you promised to do otherwise. It doesn’t necessarily require a signed contract. Didn’t our parents ask us to affix our signature to a document stating that we promise to be good and not argue with our younger siblings? It’s simply understood. And when we disobey our parents, we break that bond of trust.

It feels good to trust people. Life would be perfect if no one ever got hurt. The reality, however, is that people break trust and promises all the time and somehow someone ends up getting hurt.

Betrayal is sometimes good if it makes you reassess your life. When we’ve never experienced betrayal, we become naïve and gullible. So betrayal has its function in growing up. It helps us to be aware, confident, and more discerning.

When a person is betrayed, a common tendency is to generalize what happened. People who don’t know how to trust others treat everyone they meet with suspicion. They don’t feel comfortable making friends because the first thing on their mind is “what will this person do to me?” To avoid getting hurt again, they just push people away thinking that if they don’t get close to anyone, then no one can hurt them. This may be a safe way to live, but it’s also quite lonely.

The initial reaction when you are betrayed is to get hurt and angry. You think of ways to get back to that person. Others deny it, they say it’s not true, that it’s their fault, or they distort the information.

We will most likely feel betrayed several times in our life. Some cases will be more serious than others. Sometimes, it will be caused by a person we really love and trust; other times, it will be by one we hardly know. More often than not, we will ponder on the reasons why people betrayed our trust. We will question people are generally untrustworthy; probably even wonder if we can trust anyone again.

But before you totally become skeptical about the world you are living in, turn these unfortunate incidents into a chance to learn something about yourself and others. What could be the reason why a friend or an acquaintance betrayed you? You can also think about what you did to make that person betray you, but don’t concentrate solely on that. When you keep blaming yourself, you are not looking at it from another perspective. If you feel betrayed by yourself, you may have to work with someone professionally or in a support group to understand the feelings of betrayal and how you can heal.

Because you know how bad it feels to be betrayed by the people around you, you should never think about betraying anybody again. This should inspire you to simply live truthfully and honestly.