Sad and Empty

By Heide Lynne Canlas
Did something wrong and want to be forgiven? Ask for forgiveness the right way! Know how to properly ask for forgiveness and get it accordingly.

It is very difficult to ask for forgiveness. It requires humility and an admission that we are wrong. However, no matter how difficult it is, we sometimes have to ask for forgiveness to avoid more dire consequences of our actions, such as severance of our relationships with the people to whom we did wrongs and owe an apology.

If you find it challenging to ask for forgiveness, follow these tips on how to ask for forgiveness from the people who matter to you:

Be sincere in your apology. To be sincere, you have to admit to yourself that you are wrong. You do not have to shoulder the entire fault, but admit that you have contributed in making the situation graver for both of you. If you do not have this acceptance to yourself that you are wrong, you might not be ready to accept his words of blame, if there is any, and be defensive and sarcastic with your words. Thus, instead of remedying the situation, you might only make it worse. To be sincere, you also have to be polite and humble. Sometimes, seeing you make the effort and humbled might dissolve and soften his anger and pity you. It is easier to be angry with a person who fights back than to a person who is bowing his head in front of you and is earnestly asking for forgiveness.

Prepare your explanation in advance. Plan how you will explain your side. Because the other person is angry, he might not have the patience to listen at your explanation. Say what you want to say in a few words and quickly. But be sure that you are able to express what you want to say clearly. Also, a semi-planned speech can help you avoid saying the wrong words and worsen the situation. You might find yourself at a loss for words and blurt the first thing that comes into your mind that may turn out to be a wrong word to say and anger and hurt the other person even more.

Carefully choose the occasion and mood. Do not just rush to him and ask forgiveness. Make his head cool a little so that he will be more reasonable and willing to listen to your explanation. He will also be more amenable to forgiving you when his mind is clearer and his head, cooler.

Expect harsh words, but do not dwell on them. Let him vent his anger on you a little. Accept his blame and do not be angered with his demeanor and his words. He is only hurt and it is a natural reaction for him to want to hurt you too. Do not act defensive. Just explain your side patiently and softly. Do not even raise your voice and compete with his. Explain and do not defend. You might just end up fighting again. If he can’t stop shouting, then maybe it is not yet the right time for the two of you to talk.